


We Can’t Name It Anathema

by NotASpaceAlien



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 18:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5837185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotASpaceAlien/pseuds/NotASpaceAlien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anathema's parents have a special child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Can’t Name It Anathema

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr at http://not-a-space-alien.tumblr.com/post/127945759765/prompt-mr-device-letting-her-wife-chose-a-name

“Dear,” said Mrs. Device, putting her hands on her very pregnant belly.  


Mr. Device came over and put his arms around her, brushing kissing onto her neck.  “What is it, darling?”

“We should talk about what we’re going to name it.”  


“We had talked about naming it after my grandfather, hadn’t we?”  He rather liked the name John and was hoping the Misses hadn’t forgotten about it.  


“We had,” said the Misses.  “But what about if it’s a girl?”  


“A girl?  Oh, I suppose…”  He had been so worried about whether or not the Misses would like _John_  he hadn’t considered it.

“What about Anathema?” she said.  


“ _Anathema?_   We can’t name it _Anathema_ ,” the Mister burst out, then bit his tongue.  


“I think it sounds nice,” she said.  “You don’t?”  


“It’s, well….it’s unusual, I suppose?”  


“I come from an unusual family.”  


“All right, then,” the Mister said.  “How about this then:  If it’s a boy, we name it John, if it’s a girl we’ll name Anathema.”  


The Misses, whose faint psychic powers were already cluing her in, smiled wickedly, and agreed.

* * *

“Teacher, she pulled my hair!”  


“I did not!”  


“She did!  And then she bit me!”  


* * *

“Ahem….  Mr. and Mrs. Device, yes?”

“That’s right.  What’s Anathema done now?”  


The teacher shut the door as Anathema came in, her chubby face red and streaked with tears.  “She got into a fight with one of the boys.”

“He said such terrible things about me,” she wailed.  “I, I-”  


The teacher sat down at the desk as Anathema clung to her mother’s skirts.  “He didn’t _do_  anything,” said the teacher.  “I was watching.  The boy hardly even looked at her, and she got up and marched across the room to hit him.”

“He _did_ ,” sobbed Anathema.  


Mrs. Device rubbed Anathema’s hair.  “We’ll have a talk with her,” she informed the teacher.

They drove home in silence, and Anathema went straight to her room as soon as they got home.

Mrs. Device retrieved a book from her study, and the two of them together went to Anathema’s room, where they found her on her bed and sat on either side of her.

“Anathema,” said Mrs. Device.  “I think it’s time we gave you a little…talk about something.”  


“Is it about the birds and the bees?” sniffled Anathema.  


She laughed.  “No, it’s something else.  That boy at school, those mean things he said.  Did he say them with his mouth?”

Her lip quavered.  “No, but he still _said_  them.”

Ms. Device rubbed her back.  “Anathema, not everyone can hear each other when they say things like that.”

“Really?  Why not?”  


“The people in our family have a special talent for it.  Here.”  Mrs. Device put the book on Anathema’s lap and opened it.  “This is a book someone from our family wrote a long time ago.  She could hear people the same way you can sometimes.”  


“Really?!”  


“Yes, and more: she could even do it across time and space!  Pretty cool, isn’t it?”  


Anathema’s eyes were dry now, and she was peering at the book with interest.  She couldn’t read yet, but she was the type of person to be interested in books regardless of whether or not she could make use of them.

“Why don’t we sit down and read the book together sometimes, hm?” said Mr. Device.  


“I’d like that,” said Anathema, feeling much better already.  



End file.
